CLEAR BROOK — Aiden Henry is an accomplished wrestler at James Wood High School. For the Colonels, the 165-pounder has a record of 26 wins and 11 losses.
Aiden is tall, well-spoken, and he earns good grades. In his downtime, the 18-year-old senior likes hanging out with his girlfriend, playing video games and working out.
There is absolutely nothing about him to make you suspect he is anything but every parents’ dream. But those closest to him know a secret.
Aiden is autistic.
Autism is a neurological condition that makes it difficult to understand and process the world around you. Too much stimuli can make a person with autism shut down, engage in repetitive behaviors such as rocking or hand flapping, or even become violent.
There is a broad spectrum of autism, ranging from people who are socially awkward or withdrawn to those who cannot speak or live independently. No two cases are the same.
Many people with autism have sensory issues and don’t like to be touched, make eye contact, or be in an environment with bright lights, loud noises and lots of people. How, then, can a person who is autistic compete in wrestling, a sport that requires constant physical contact with an opponent and whose matches are held in brightly lit, noisy gymnasiums?
In Aiden’s case, it was a matter of his parents ensuring he got the help he needed, coupled with his determination to accept and thrive in the world around him.
‘We were overwhelmed’
To see Aiden today, it’s hard to believe he ever had difficulties in school or with making friends.
But that’s because Aiden has come a long, long way in his 18 years.
When he was a toddler, parents Kelley and Brian Henry started noticing certain behaviors that made Kelley, who is a nurse, suspect their son was on the spectrum. However, like most parents of autistic children, they didn’t want to believe it.
Reality smacked the Clear Brook couple in the face when Kelley got a call from Aiden’s preschool teacher.
“She had noticed that when they had playtime, Aiden would just be in the back corner either watching all the other kids or playing by himself,” Kelley said. “He wouldn’t really interact when they would do a lesson; he would just sit and do a lot of stimming.”
Stimming is a shortened way of describing repetitive, self-stimulatory behaviors such as rocking, pacing or tapping.
The teacher knew what she was talking about. She told the Henrys her own son was autistic and she recognized the same behaviors in Aiden.
“I got frustrated a lot when I was younger,” Aiden said this week. “I did not see myself making friends or anything. My younger self just loved to watch TV in my room, not doing much of anything like going outside.”
The Henrys had Aiden evaluated by Frederick County Public Schools, and officials there also suspected autism. The couple then took their son to a child psychologist in Winchester who formally diagnosed Aiden as being moderately autistic.
“When we got the diagnosis, my husband and I both cried because I know God never gives you more than what you can handle, but we were overwhelmed,” Kelley said. “He was verbal and all that, but he didn’t know any of his colors, any of his numbers.”
Aiden had a difficult time in kindergarten but still advanced to first grade.
His time as a first grader was even more difficult, though. In addition to struggling with school, he was bullied by other kids and identified every color as blue.
Kelley said she and Brian decided to have him repeat first grade while they continued to take him to medical appointments and give him medication designed to help his brain slow down and focus.
“We weren’t even looking at him graduating [from high school] at that time, or going to college, because we didn’t know if it was even possible,” Kelley said.
During his second go-round in first grade, Aiden started doing better with his schoolwork, Kelley said.
“Little bits and pieces started coming out and you could start to see Aiden’s personality,” Kelley said. “And then I started realizing that the autism diagnosis was just a diagnosis. Every single one of those kids [with autism] have so much love and bring so much joy to our lives.”
Aiden said he started attending tractor shows with his brother, Austin, who was born 10 years before him.
“I really enjoyed that,” Aiden said. “It got me out of the house. I could do a lot of things, talk to people.”
Over time, it got easier for Aiden to have conversations. The bullying from classmates began to subside and his stimming also became less frequent.
“I would talk to my teachers, my friends,” Aiden said. “I can control it (the stimming behaviors) and find ways to not show it as much.”
In seventh grade, Aiden found another coping mechanism — a service dog named Buttercup. Kelley said Buttercup was an invaluable way for Aiden to meet people, have conversations and make friends at school.
Eventually, Aiden realized he didn’t have to work as hard to process the world around him. He now says blending in with other people and his surroundings feels very natural, so much so that he even landed a part-time job last year at Chick-fil-A in Winchester’s Apple Blossom Mall.
As his coping and socialization skills improved, so did Aiden’s physical well-being. He discovered that working out at a gym further helped him focus and work through his autism-related stressors.
And that’s what led him to follow in his brother’s footsteps.
Take it to the mat
Starting when he was just 4 years old, Aiden enjoyed watching his older brother, Austin, wrestle at James Wood High School.
“I always wanted to go on the mat and, like, wrestle his team or mess with them when they had a break,” Aiden said. “I loved running around the circle [on the wrestling mat]. That was amazing to me when I was younger.”
When Aiden was in elementary and middle schools, there were no wrestling teams to join. So when he was 9 or 10, he decided to try baseball instead.
“He was a great catcher,” Kelley recalled. “It amazed me that he wanted to get behind the plate. Not many kids wanted to do that.”
But Aiden still wanted to wrestle. He finally got his chance when he became old enough to enroll as a ninth grader at Austin’s alma mater, James Wood High School.
When asked how a person with autism can tolerate the close, physical contact involved with wrestling, Aiden said it wasn’t a problem for him because that’s not one of his sensory issues.
“It doesn’t bother me,” he said about being touched by others. “I’m fine with it.”
Aiden became a talented wrestler, the proof of which can be found in the numerous medals and trophies he proudly displays in his bedroom. The only thing that has eluded him is a title.
“My goal is to become a regional champion,” he said.
As you are reading this, Aiden is working to achieve that goal. James Wood’s wrestling team is in Orange County today to compete in the regional championship tournament. Aiden said he hopes to win there so he can advance to the state tournament on Feb. 21 in Virginia Beach.
When his senior year at James Wood ends, Aiden said he still plans on wrestling. He has already been accepted at Shenandoah University and plans on being a grappler there as he pursues a criminal justice degree.
“I’m going to try to become a police officer,” he said.
Which means that, once again, Aiden is following in his brother’s footsteps. Austin is a deputy sheriff in Brevard County, Florida.
‘I wouldn’t change any of it’
On top of being a good wrestler and a dedicated student, Aiden is a good person. He has an overwhelming desire to help other students who are struggling.
“Because he was bullied so much, he realizes that it’s not right,” Kelley said. “People shouldn’t be bullied because they’re autistic or look different or act different or walk different.”
When Aiden stands up for a friend now, people who have only known him for the last few years have no idea that he is autistic.
“If I tell them I have autism, they’re like, ‘Wow, I had no idea. I couldn’t even recognize it,’” Aiden said.
In addition to conquering his own challenges, Aiden has stepped up to help his mother overcome hers.
Kelley said she injured the ligaments in her left ankle when she was working as a nurse in Jefferson County, West Virginia. The damage was repaired by surgery, but she developed an antibiotic-resistant case of MRSA during recovery. The life-threatening infection kept her sick for years and even stopped her heart on more than one occasion.
In late July 2018, Kelley made the difficult decision to have her left leg amputated below the knee to remove the source of her MRSA infection.
A few weeks later, though, “I got sick again and ended up in Winchester [Medical Center],” she said. “I had developed a mass about the size of my fist behind the kneecap because the infection had traveled. So they ended up [amputating] above the knee and here we are today.”
Today, Kelley gets around on her own just fine but occasionally needs help around the house. Aiden is there every time.
“He’s my right hand,” Kelley said. “If I need anything, whether it be something from upstairs or to get the laundry — I don’t know what I would do without that kid right there.”
Aiden has also been an invaluable help to people who, like him, have neurological challenges. He volunteers from time to time at NW Works, a facility in Winchester that provides job training and placement services to individuals with disabilities, and he inspires them by talking about the challenges he has overcome and his dreams for the future.
It has been a long, hard road for the Henry family, but Kelley and Aiden said their difficulties have only made them stronger.
“I wouldn’t change any of it for anything,” Kelley said. “I would do it all over again.”
— Contact Brian Brehm at
bbrehm@winchesterstar.com